#3 is the thing that I think tends to really create havoc because people have a LOT of trouble accepting the possibility that this might be about their friends (also applies to "people they admire" -- I'll avoid examples here, as well, but there's a certain mindset that says that creating a great work of art or mentoring someone else who creates great art means the person in question must be innocent).
I suspect you know where I stand on this, but in case it's not clear, I fall very firmly on the side of protecting the abused here. That means that the abuser shouldn't be welcome in my home, and shouldn't be welcome by anyone reasonably expecting or interested in my visiting their home.
I'm not opposed to the notion of contrition or rehabilitation, but those are very different concepts from just giving someone another chance. And while I do realize that this is something that by definition requires the abuser having friends and connections, I don't see the victim as someone who should have to shoulder this burden (nor do I take for granted than an abuser is inherently capable of contrition or of being rehabilitated or reformed).
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Date: 2014-07-12 11:56 am (UTC)From:I suspect you know where I stand on this, but in case it's not clear, I fall very firmly on the side of protecting the abused here. That means that the abuser shouldn't be welcome in my home, and shouldn't be welcome by anyone reasonably expecting or interested in my visiting their home.
I'm not opposed to the notion of contrition or rehabilitation, but those are very different concepts from just giving someone another chance. And while I do realize that this is something that by definition requires the abuser having friends and connections, I don't see the victim as someone who should have to shoulder this burden (nor do I take for granted than an abuser is inherently capable of contrition or of being rehabilitated or reformed).
(And as always, I'm a big advocate of awareness of Geek Social Fallacies and The Missing Stair when having these conversations.)
(Note: Will be at ReaderCon all day today and tomorrow, so my time on LJ is limited.)