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State of the Shaz
Aug. 18th, 2006 01:50 pmI haven't really posted much, and especially haven't posted much positively lately... I try not to be a constant downer on LJ but it does tend to lend itself to a venting outlet, at least for me.
Overall, things are going better than they have in a while. The new job is going well, we (hopefully) have a new apartment in Melrose that we will be moving to October 1st, we are both relatively healthy and have made a small start on fixing those things that have long been ignored out of pure survival instinct. There is a bit of pins and needles going on until we have "signed on the dotted line" for the apartment but other than that the largest problems have been some vehicular woes...
So, why have I been a basketcase from Hell, constantly dealing with an overwhelming depression with sleep being extremely elusive?
Two, maybe three reasons...Between apartment hunting, the commute from hell and various social obligations most week nights have had us getting home anywhere between 8:30-11pm often without having had dinner yet. This has caused the second reason: sleep has been short lived and often riddled with dreams and nightmares. About 6 hours of interrupted sleep a night has been the norm. Lack of sleep has often been a herald of depression for me. This being no exception. The third being the rather overwhelming wall of things that need to be taken fixed now that we have means and opportunity. I know and understand the reasons why things got so insane, but the idea of trying to make it all right again is more than a little frightening sometimes. Its kind of like that bench in the garage that you just keep throwing things you can't take care right now onto...then all of the sudden you go to clear it off and its piled to the ceiling.
We'll get through this, I know. Right now though, I'm just trying to push through day to day.
Overall, things are going better than they have in a while. The new job is going well, we (hopefully) have a new apartment in Melrose that we will be moving to October 1st, we are both relatively healthy and have made a small start on fixing those things that have long been ignored out of pure survival instinct. There is a bit of pins and needles going on until we have "signed on the dotted line" for the apartment but other than that the largest problems have been some vehicular woes...
So, why have I been a basketcase from Hell, constantly dealing with an overwhelming depression with sleep being extremely elusive?
Two, maybe three reasons...Between apartment hunting, the commute from hell and various social obligations most week nights have had us getting home anywhere between 8:30-11pm often without having had dinner yet. This has caused the second reason: sleep has been short lived and often riddled with dreams and nightmares. About 6 hours of interrupted sleep a night has been the norm. Lack of sleep has often been a herald of depression for me. This being no exception. The third being the rather overwhelming wall of things that need to be taken fixed now that we have means and opportunity. I know and understand the reasons why things got so insane, but the idea of trying to make it all right again is more than a little frightening sometimes. Its kind of like that bench in the garage that you just keep throwing things you can't take care right now onto...then all of the sudden you go to clear it off and its piled to the ceiling.
We'll get through this, I know. Right now though, I'm just trying to push through day to day.
