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He would have been 40 today. After the wonderful series of things he did for my 40th last year, I had already started thinking about what I could do for him this year.
I think he would heartily approve of the party on Saturday.
In the last 9 years of his life, Aries struggled with more demons than most people see in their lifetime. Sometimes he won and sometimes he lost. Sometimes I would get angry because I felt like he wasn’t fighting hard enough, but as much as those moments pissed me off I can honestly say he never really gave up. He let things get away from him more than once out of pure mental exhaustion, but he never gave up.
The people that are closest to me have heard me complain that he would get so lost in his own battles that I would feel like I was left holding the bag. And in truth, that did really happen more than I care to admit but I still loved him. He was in chronic pain physically and he was chronically ill mentally, but he was still kind, loving, cuddly and frequently generous to a fault. His warmth and vibrance is echoed through our community in the “virtual shiva” that went on after his death and the impression he has left on our Tribe.
He was always a geek. The first time I met him he was more interested in telling a mutual friend about the Starbase he had just destroyed in “Gal-Trader” than in meeting the pretty young women our mutual friend was trying to introduce him to… He finally said “Oh, Hi” but then “I gotta go, I have a study group” and was gone again. I was shocked to find that he had actually noticed me when he messaged me online a couple of nights later.
As I got to know him I realized that was typical of him. He frequently noticed more than he let on though his emotional insecurities often made him very uncertain of his own interpretations of things. Still he tried to treat people the way he wanted to be treated. He had a gentle warmth about him that often made people he’d just met feel like they were old friends.
Oh, Gods, I miss him. In my heart I know he has found more peace now then he ever could have in life, but I still miss him every minute of every day.
Happy Birthday, my Luvy. Wishing you peace and happiness wherever you might be.
I think he would heartily approve of the party on Saturday.
In the last 9 years of his life, Aries struggled with more demons than most people see in their lifetime. Sometimes he won and sometimes he lost. Sometimes I would get angry because I felt like he wasn’t fighting hard enough, but as much as those moments pissed me off I can honestly say he never really gave up. He let things get away from him more than once out of pure mental exhaustion, but he never gave up.
The people that are closest to me have heard me complain that he would get so lost in his own battles that I would feel like I was left holding the bag. And in truth, that did really happen more than I care to admit but I still loved him. He was in chronic pain physically and he was chronically ill mentally, but he was still kind, loving, cuddly and frequently generous to a fault. His warmth and vibrance is echoed through our community in the “virtual shiva” that went on after his death and the impression he has left on our Tribe.
He was always a geek. The first time I met him he was more interested in telling a mutual friend about the Starbase he had just destroyed in “Gal-Trader” than in meeting the pretty young women our mutual friend was trying to introduce him to… He finally said “Oh, Hi” but then “I gotta go, I have a study group” and was gone again. I was shocked to find that he had actually noticed me when he messaged me online a couple of nights later.
As I got to know him I realized that was typical of him. He frequently noticed more than he let on though his emotional insecurities often made him very uncertain of his own interpretations of things. Still he tried to treat people the way he wanted to be treated. He had a gentle warmth about him that often made people he’d just met feel like they were old friends.
Oh, Gods, I miss him. In my heart I know he has found more peace now then he ever could have in life, but I still miss him every minute of every day.
Happy Birthday, my Luvy. Wishing you peace and happiness wherever you might be.
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Date: 2011-04-14 02:00 pm (UTC)From:no subject
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Date: 2011-04-14 04:53 pm (UTC)From:Hoping the weather Saturday will be as awesome as the weather today.
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Date: 2011-04-14 09:46 pm (UTC)From:no subject
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Date: 2011-04-15 12:48 am (UTC)From:All our love *hugs*